


We can make you a real man

by l_ay_ne



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Gay Steve Harrington, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Lesbian Robin Buckley, M/M, mentioned rape, no actual rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24764266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_ay_ne/pseuds/l_ay_ne
Summary: In a small town like Indiana, there wasn't much for a young gay man like Steve to do. The town had more churches than grocery stores and to everyone, being gay was an abomination. So, at the tender age of sixteen, he snuck into bars and flirted his way into mens beds.The first time he did it, an old lesbian woman with tattoos covering hrr neck looked at him with something akin to pity. However, she looked the other way when he left the bar with a man old enough to be his father.Every once in a while, someone would figure out he was underage. And they warned him of these camps. Camps where they tried to change you in the name of God. He laughed it off.Those things, those camps. You only ever hear about them online. The chances of him, a now seventeen year old boy well on his way to college with a scholarship, could never imagine happening to him.Never.
Relationships: Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington/Original Male Character(s), Tommy Hagan/Steve Harrington
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing a long chapter fic and posting it here! 
> 
> I was watching a TikTok and it started listing all the states where conversion therapy was legal. And it blew my mind, and then for some reason I thought how Steve's dad would definitely force him into this.

Steve sat uncomfortably in his father's yellow Cadillac, shifting around to protect his sore body. The buckles, pressing painfully yet delicately into his chest. And each bump on the uneven rode jostled his slim frame. 

The car was dead silent, and the air between father and son was tense and uncomfortable. His mother had refused to take this trip with his father and him. Though, Steve wondered if it was due to her disappointment in him or inability to sit in a car with his father for longer than ten minutes alone. 

Stefano "Steve" Harrington stared blankly at the space between his legs and glove box of the car. Pushing down his unfavorable emotions and staring at his bag. His bag, singular bag, with only essentials sat uncomfortably between his legs. And he, picked and picked at the strap. Watching the seams unfurl and unraveling as he just picks and picks. 

He's watching as his bag seemed to come undone, just like his life. He belatedly realize to some, it would be dramatic. He's been known to be dramatic, complaining about how his parents aren't home. How his father hates him. His mother is a drunk. He is just dramatic. And he just needs to grow up. That's what they all say.

Grow into Manhood, as this little get away would have him believe. Or, as their sister camp would have you believe, Womanhood. 

He didn't get it. Maybe it was because he was never smart. He had never gotten it. Not really. He was always a little slow in some areas. A voice was hissing in his ear, maybe that's why you're like this. Steve only closed his eyes, and regulated his breathing. Controlling himself. Just like his parents wanted. Controlled. 

But did he really want that?

Didn't matter, he was still being driven up North. He was still packing up his whole life at seventeen. He was still being taken to get "fixed". To be what God desires. And again, a voice, softer and kinder, whispered to him. Is this really what God wants? And he doesn't know. Despite his mother's deep rooted Catholic family, he has never stepped foot into a church.

Steve's breath finally caught in his throat when his dad's car slowed to a stop. All of a sudden, he was cold. His fingers were twitching in his vibrating hands, and he could only watch detatchedly. A spectator in his own body. 

He felt as if the woods surrounding them were closing in. Trees never ending and towering up to the heavens to loom over him. Green crowding all who crossed into that little building. Like soldiers marching you to your execution.

A meaty hand clapped onto his shoulder, painfully ripping him back into his panicking body. Demanding his attention, and so he gave it. He looked up at his father, he was wrinkled with pepper salt hair. And despite his internal panic, he had known enough to not look his father in the eye. Not to look into the predators eyes, not to fight a dominance battle he had lost many times before. 

"Son, I am doing this for your own good. This, this *thing*, you are doing. It is merely a phase, no. An illness. I'm trying to save you from yourself. You are confused, you think you want this, my son. Trust me, after this you'll thank me. Now, get your bag." Steve nodded dumbly, following his father out of the car as the older man stepped toward a cabin like building. As he followed behind, he glanced around the thick forest. Isolated. 

When he stepped into the one story cabin there was a short woman with fried brown hair who smiled eagerly at him. Behind her stout frame stood a man wearing a blue shirt and khaki shorts. He was an older man with grey hair who smiled at him mutely as the woman moved to introduce herself. 

"Hello! I'm Sharlene, and I aid in running Personal Growth Rehab. This is my partner, Micheal." Her voice was high yet soothing, she gave off an energy that she would complain about you to your employer, Steve thought faintly. 

He shook her hand and read what her pink shirt said, 'Aiding in Growing into Womanhood!'. His heart began to race, and when he saw Michael's near identical one, only with a change of Manhood, he wanted to cry. 

It was all crashing down onto him. This was real. His parents were really going to leave him, in the middle of nowhere to "fix" him. And after all the bars he's went to. All the men he's met. The warnings and horror stories about conversion camp he was given and had passed off. Thinking, oh it would never happen to me. And it was, that is where he ended up. Conversion camp.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, theres a lot of slurs against gay people in this! I just want to warn before hand. A lot of homophobia, like duh this is about conversion therapy. Which is still very much a problem unfortunately. Also theres a mention of r@pe! Nothing happens its just used agaisnt Steve.
> 
> Update: hi I've been reading over it in my spare time! I have school and a lot of crap so this is a nice break away. I reread the chapter and decided I wanted to fix it up and change things. Ian and Isaiah are no longer in the story. I might add them as like easter eggs! No rape mentions in this chapter, I think its like implied but nothing really.

Steve remembers the first time he thought he was in love. He was fifteen, smoking his first cigarette and drinking his first beer with his bestfriend of two years. Tommy Hagan. In the mess of alcohol he remembers staring at his freckled face under the stars and thinking that this is the only galaxy worth looking at. Then chapped lips met lips slicked with siliva and beer and suddenly Steve wasn't really thinking. 

However, after that night everything was nearly the same. Tommy was still dating Carol and they were still just friends. Except, now in the shadows of the night Tommy and Steve 'experimented'. And for a while it was enough, Steve accepted being second place to Carol for so long. 

And then. 

Carol came up to him crying one day. Hidden from the world by the bleachers as Steve smoked a cigarette during lunch period she came to him with tears streaming down her red cheeks. Eyes desperate and scared as she choked out her words. She confided in him a secret. And suddenly, Steve understood his place. Love tinted eyes became clear as he drove her towns over in his red car where Tommy had been the night before to keep a secret he could never tell. 

Two nights after that trip, he found himself in a bar. An older man seducing him, telling him pretty words he wanted to hear and dragging him into an older model car. That would soon become his new normal. Nights out, drinking more than he should and keeping men's beds warm. 

He'd occasionally get drunk and high with Tommy still and the emotions would resurface. He'd give Tommy a hand, before feeling like garbage with the image of a crying Carol fresh in his mind. 

But then he met Nancy. And she's all his family ever hoped he would find. She's pretty, smart and strong. She looks like she is sophisticated and her family is not a bad one. All A's, perfect highschool record. She was just perfect.

He began to spend time with her, he really did try to love her. Maybe he did in some way, but it doesn't feel anywhere close to those butterflies he used to get for Tommy back when he thought he was in love. 

He did fall in love again. Suddenly he wasn't giving either Tommy or Nancy any attention. Mind in the clouds with thick cigarette smoke, potted plants and tattooed hands. A rough voice luring him into a daze where no one else matters. 

Maybe if he had noticed the way Tommy had acted when he was around Nancy he would have noticed. The glares and pointed looks. Sneers and harsh glares whenever Steve said he had plans. 

Maybe if he had noticed he would have hidden it better. The little gifts and trinkets remain hidden in his car. Hickeys low on his neck where Nancy wouldn't see, but the men in the locker room would. 

Maybe if he had done that, Tommy's jealousy wouldn't rear its ugly head. He would not have run to his mom with tears in his blue eyes as he cried to her.

Steve remembers the day his parents came home so vividly. He had an apple for breakfast. He thought about making himself a meal too but then decided he'll go to the diner and take out some lunch. He fantasized calling him up, going over to his crappy apartment on the out skirts of Indianapolis with food from his favorite diner. The morning was so nice. And then the clock hit 11:23 AM and the front door was being opened and in walked Mr. and Mrs. Harrignton. Steve's stomach flipped in a very unpleasant way as he stood from his place on the couch. Being the polite son he was, he offered to help his parents with their suitcases. 

His father stood in front of him quietly for a long quiet stretch of time. Steve felt panic rising from the silence, confusion and desperation to know what his father wants rushing over him in a matter of seconds. The slap to his face was telling enough. Grabbing Steve's hair and slamming it into the wall was an extra touch. And so were the other kindly placed fists on his body. And if his mother had to look away and cover her mouth, that was her own business. 

His father had screamed and raved at him telling Steve things about himself he had made sure to be kept hidden. And while the fists were raining down on him he wondered how he was found out. Where did he mess up? What did he do wrong? How did they find him out? It was answered quickly in the form of slurs and a name being thrown in there. 

Hagan. 

[ ] 

When he was able to walk again without needing to take a break from his broken ribs, he was told to get packing. He was going some place to be "fixed". Conversion camp was a real thing and he was going to experience it. Those myths he'd heard about in bars becoming his reality. 

He called Tommy angry and hurt, and got a load of horse shit.

I don't fucking know you.

You're just some fucking faggot. 

I have no clue what you're talking about. 

Fuck off you fairy. 

I hope you get stoned to death you god damn fag. 

The words he was saying genuinely hurt, but thats why they were said. No real meaning other than to inflict pain on him. After that he had no idea who else to call. No one would care and he could not confide into the people who do. And that's fucking funny isn't it? He had been this "King Steve", most popular guy in Hawkins. Yet, he didn't have anyone to go to for comfort when the nights got rough. And for a time he was okay with that, he had Tommy. Tommy who he had known since they were thirteen. Tommy who started all of this. Tommy who outed him to his parents because he was a selfish dick and didn't want Steve to be happy with anyone else. 

Tommy who gets to finish senior year in the familiar halls of Hawkins high while Steve is left doing course work here. So far out into the woods it should be called the middle of no where. Surrounded with repressed and depressed teens and violent counselors. People trying to change him to be something he's not. 

Steve is left in the bottom bunk bed in a cabin, his only companion a hunky jock who looks one bad hair cut away from military school. Steve tried to make conversation, joking about how this was like military school. Comparing the 'uniforms' they had to wear, tight schedule, pristine cleaning expectations, and the food. The joke flopped as his roomate, Bryce Cawthorn, only glared at him harder. Steve thought they could be friends and they would just deal with what was dished out till they were eighteen and could leave. Steve had made another joke that maybe they'll be the next Romeo and Juliet of the gay world. Where they would fall in love through shared truama and some other bullshit.

He got sent to disciplinary for that joke. 

Two days later Steve tried sparking up conversations again. Asking about his life, relationships, and if he jad a boyfriend back home before he was sent away. He visited disciplinary the next morning. According to the director of disciplinary, Father Adrian, even considering a same sex cou0ling as a relationship was wrong in the eyes of God. His hands and knuckles were raw and bruised as they were smacked by a ruler till the thing broke. Steve couldn't write the next morning and was dismissed from tutoring. 

After that, Steve learned he and Bryce weren't going to be friends. And Steve worked hard to hide what pictures he had brought with him. The pictures of him.

At night, Steve plays a dangerous game. Reading one of the few notes he had brought with him to this place. Just a simple note, saying how he missed Steve on the nights he was gone. The bed was so cold, and the apartment felt still after the echos of his laugh died down. And he couldn't wait to meet him again. 

He read that note every night. Lights out and emotionally drained from talking with Brother Greeves in one of their nightly sessions. Bryce fell asleep fast snoring loudly but dead to the world. In the shield of those snores did Steve feel truly safe.


	3. Chapter 3

By the end of his first week Steve was pleasantly disciplined and mildly anxious of Sunday night. When he first arrived he was given a slip of paper that said Sunday, 3:25 PM with Father Thomas..He had heard in whispers stories of what happens on the weekends. Some boys say its the true teachings and the Brothers always say that it is the only thing that really works from some boys. From the trembling hands and fearful whispers Steve could guess what occurs in those rooms.

He sat alone in the cafeteria. Bryce and his band of repressed teens glared at him till he took the hint he wasn't wanted at their table. Sitting alone at the table eating whole wheat tuna sandwiches Steve couldn't help but think it was funny that he was only allowed near males. The girls at their own camps and only allowed to intermingle on Sundays, according to Emilio from the math study group who helps him with Claculus. Wouldn't it be better to take them away from their so called temptation, Steve wondered. 

Steve took a bite of his tuna sandwich, thinking about how his Jewish family on his father's side would be horrified to know he was in a Catholic school. His DeeDee would huff and screech at his father, always mad Steve was never brought up on their teachings. Always blaming Steve's mom for his dads neglect in Steve's life. He laughed when everything came to a halt.

His Nonna. His mothers mom had been their for a large part of his childhood. She truly loved him and maybe this is just delusions created after not seeing a familiar face in almost a week, but she would accept him. She would pull him into a hug, ranting off in Italian how he was her precious stone, her everything, her Stefano. She wouldn't have sent him off to this hell. 

Steve's thoughts were surrounded so thickly with familial love and his Nonna he didn't notice the man who slipped next to him on the table. Sandy blonde hair geled back and green shirt safely tucked into his kaki shorts.

"Hi!" Steve's attention was snapped to the mans higher pitched voice. Confused brown eyes meeting eager ones. 

"Uh, hi?" He mumbled, mouth still full of tuna. The man across from him grimaced but still looked at him brightly. 

"I'm David, I heard you're new around here. And you've already been sent to disciplinary twice! Wow, I was like you once too. I tried resisting God, but I have finally embraced it and I'm so happy!" David, leaned on his arms over the table nearly in Steve's space. Steve unconsciously leaned away from him, lips curling down as he eyed warily. His plastic smile pulling his face in an ugly imitation of emotions. 

Steve raised an eyebrow and eyed him warily glaring at this David head on. He shoved his sandwich away from himself, giving him his full attention. That seemed to spark genuine emotion of relief in David's eyes. 

"Oh really? What pray tell gave you the idea to stop resisting God?" Steve sneered, narrowed eyes watching as David's lips curled in a semblance of a smile with too much teeth to be genuine.

"Trust me, once you meet Father Micheals your whole outlook will change." And then he was leaving. Voice dark as the threat slipped off his tongue. Walking to another group of thin boys who eyed Steve like vultures ready for an abandoned carcass. 

He looked down at his half eaten tuna sandwich. The sounds of aimless chatter filling the large auditorium around him. But through all the noise. Obnoxious laughs from tables away, squeeling laughter from food fights, and just pointless conversations. The only distinct sound Steve could make out from the ringing in his ears. Was the hammering of his heart. 

Sunday was only hours away.

**Author's Note:**

> So here is my fic! Sorry the first part is so short, there's things I'm still working on. Like, I'm most definitely wondering if this should be a modern universe(since they still exist in the state of Indiana) or if it should be in the og time.


End file.
